catching up

Well, I have been terrible at this...but I am sure with my schedule it is understandable. I have been busy with homeschool, and the usual. It has been the usual craziness around here. Everyday is a race against time to see if I can complete the required and essential subjects that I need to do every day. The babies are a challenge right now because it is difficult to do school if they are awake. Now, they are trying to get down to only one nap a day. I am not ready for that, and they are not ready either. I am trying to do an every other day routine with them to help them to transition. We are getting ready for Halloween and have already gone through all the hassle of deciding on what each child wants to be. Luckily they got a Marine uniform for Christmas last year (the boys), so that was a fairly easy pick. Mikayla loves to dance, so she is going to be a ballerina. I was tempted to go buy them cute costumes, but when I saw the price of $30-$40, I decided against it. I realized that Halloween has gotten way to commercial and I want my kids to get back to the basics. Make a costume, put something together and use your imagination. It's easy to go and buy some pretty, name brand, expensive costume and look like you walked out of a Pottery Barn photo shoot...if you have the money...but using your imagination to come up with something is much more productive and imaginative. Now, we are facing the dilemma of what to get the kids for Christmas. Over the years we have learned our lesson. First child, first year, you go crazy, buy everything you can afford and sometimes can't afford, because it's fun. Then you realize over the years how the toys can pile up, and overwhelm you. So, now 5 children later, we have come to the conclusion that more is not better. We now buy a big gift for all the kids (one year a trampoline), and a few for each individual and set a budget. Last year Mikayla got an American Girl Doll and some accessories, the boys got a drum set, and a ride on horse...and they have pretty much lasted. I really like to stick with classic wood toys because they last, and they are non-toxic. This year I am thinking about a big wood kitchen and then accessories for each child. I know they will all enjoy it and the babies will also grow into it and it will get lots of use. We are going to order pretty soon so we don't have all the expense at one time. Well that catches me up for now...I hope to post more soon. I am in the process of getting a summary of my homeschool routine up, so check back in the next couple of weeks.

Birthdays and Seasons

It's a busy time around our house, it's the start of the holiday season for us. It used to be that the start of the holiday season was Cesar's birthday, but last year our twins came one day before that. Cesar's birthday is first, then 5 days later is mine, but last year we both got a special gift, one for him and one for me. We know from now on, our birthdays will be the shadow of our twin's big day.

So, this year was the start of a tradition. I am very particular about how I do things. I like to make everybody their own special cake, and it must be homemade. Usually Cesar makes mine with the kids, but this year I will be making my own! (My 7 year old decided to plan a "surprise" party for me...and she needs a cake. She conned me into making a cake though I am not supposed to know why) So, I struggled with the idea of what to make for the babies first birthday, as it will be the tradition for the rest of their lives...big decision! I decided to make two separate cakes, one was a lemon cake with lemon butter icing, and the other a white cake with vanilla butter icing. I had a little party for them, which turned out to be bigger than I intended. I don't usually do a party for our 1 year olds, except a little cake and just the family. I really felt like this was a milestone for myself, and I wanted to have the people that helped me through it to be a part of it. I have had to learn to accept help now with the extra big load that I have on my shoulders. It has been a great lesson for me to learn.

Homeschooling has been coming along very well. I am really excited about the things I am learning along with the kids. So many things you don't retain from your early school days, and I now have the opportunity to learn again. I found it to be an overwhelming task, and at one point thought I could not do it and began to go through the steps of enrolling the kids in the public school. But, thanks to a good friend she helped me to overcome the beginning steps and guide me to the start. Now I have taken it into my own agenda, and have thrown myself in 100%. It took me a couple of weeks of a transition period, finding the books I wanted, figuring out the routine and what would work. I hope to do a more detailed post on this subject, as I learn more about what works and what doesn't.

I love the Fall, and the events that are coming up very soon. I love the cool weather we have now in Virginia, and opening the windows for some fresh air. I never thought we would actually make it to this point, and get to the first birthday of the babies. But, here we are! This is an exciting time, and I am really enjoying them so much. I feel so lucky to have two babies, it is something I still can't get over sometimes. When I look at them, and I realize how special they are, and how lucky I am! The other kids are so loving toward them, and I am so glad that they haven't had any jealousy issues. The babies get soooo much attention when we go anywhere, and the other kids don't have a problem with it, they are happy for the babies and proud of them.

Well, I know this has been very eclectic, but that is my life! I love it!

My days out...

I have been so lucky the last week to have had some time off. It has been almost 2 months that I have been going without any break at all. I just had to put it in my head that I have to keep going. Last week my friend Sara was going to have a weekend with her oldest child and husband away, so we thought it would be nice to have a day out, for lunch and some shopping. So, I finally took the step and found a babysitter. I found a really great babysitter, and the best part is she lives in the same cul de sac. She loves kids, and is the oldest and helps take care of her younger siblings and cousins. So, on Saturday Sara and I went out for lunch at The Cheesecake Factory...with our babies...as I couldn't leave the babysitter with all the kids. It's tough for me, much less a 16 year old! After lunch, we did some shopping, which was really nice. Even with the two babies, it is more relaxing and enjoyable, because I don't have to discipline them. There is something so exhausting about constantly saying "come over here, sit down, stay with me, Nathan, where are you, Matthew, Mikayla, stop touching, stop running, etc......" I would rather deal with a crying, wiggly baby all day long. I spent most of my time in Gymboree because they had some sales, and gymbucks...I love to try to match the babies. I spent a lot of time just trying to find the right sizes of what I wanted. Shopping for two is definitely more challenging than just one. I would find what I wanted for one, and then try to match or coordinate...and then I couldn't find one piece in the right size, so I would have to start over. After the mall, we went to Whole Foods, my favorite store, and got a few groceries then headed home. I didn't get home until 6pm, just in time to feed the kids and put them all to bed. I really felt relaxed and ready for the next day. On Wednesday, my friend Latrice came over, and braved all 5 kids. She has been around quite a bit in the last couple of months, so she knew what was in store for her. On top of that she is 7 months pregnant with twins! I hated to ask, but she offered and I really needed a haircut. In the same little town there is a Spa that I had a gift certificate left over from last Christmas from Cesar. I had a massage, a 90 minute one this time. 60 minutes is over so fast, but then the 90 minute one seemed short too...I guess it could never be enough! I felt so tense when I woke up everyday, this massage became more of a need than a luxury. After my massage I had a little time, so I went to a little coffee shop and had a coffee and a cheese danish. I sat and read a paper I didn't care about, but I was alone! It was heaven! Next I went for a haircut, in which I cut very short. I wanted a style, and I love my hair short, it makes me feel young and happy. My face looks brighter, and it just suits me better. I will post a picture when I get one. I really needed this break, and I am glad I have been able to have a break, as we are at the halfway point. The last stretch is always the hardest as you anticipate the return. Next weekend my mom is coming for a visit, and it's the twins birthday...yeah! One year gone by, it's bitter sweet as I watch the last babies of the house grow. I anticipate each milestone with a little sadness knowing they are not going to be babies much longer, but at the same time I can't wait to be done with diapers and frequent naps. I am ready to continue the days of routine and sometimes chaos now that I have been renewed! Now, I can't wait for a vacation...always something to look forward to!

Dealing with deployments

Today, I just don't have anything meaningful to add, but thought I would write something about deployments. So far we are a little over half way there, and it seems like it's never going to end. I definitely have my ups and my downs. I try very much to enjoy the ups because I have learned that my life goes in cycles...and a down will come again. I try to make sure they don't stick around very long and go with the flow. If I feel good I try to get all I can done and use it to my advantage, but when I feel down, I let myself go, I don't fight it, I don't feel bad, or guilty (well just a little), and I allow myself to rest. I know it won't last and if I beat myself up it will only make it worse. I realize that we are doing our part and Cesar is doing his job, but it is really hard to be apart for half a year. I know we are lucky because we get to talk, email, and keep in touch by video conference online. But, the kids miss him, the days run together, and life feels meaningless sometimes. I try to focus on the positive, but some days that's harder to do. The positive things for me, are that we have been able to talk and really grow our relationship. We talk at home, but daily life gets in the way a lot and keeps us from addressing issues. I feel we have grown a lot since he left and it's almost like we will be starting over again when he gets back. The last deployment did not do that for us, but we were at a different point in our lives at that time...we still had some growing up to do. There are so many families going through the same thing that I am right now. And, this will keep happening for many years...I have learned through this that when I am able, I will help families in my situation to help them through.

Weekends

I love the weekends because it is more relaxed, in general. I sort of give myself the days off from business, and home school. Even though there is always something that needs to be done, I only do it if I am in the mood. I try to just relax, enjoy the kids, catch up on cooking, or little projects, go to the store, go to the park, things like that. Some days, I try to just lay on the couch with the kids and watch t.v. that we can all enjoy like, Animal Planet, or National Geographic, or an old classic kids movie like Parent Trap. Mikayla loves that, but the boys really like the animal shows.

Once a month I treat myself to a house cleaning, and it is money well spent. So, they came yesterday, and cleaned my whole house. In some ways it's a lot of work for me because I have to pick up and organize, and I wash the sheets so they can make the beds. I also try to re-organize the kids rooms so that by the end of the day I am completely caught up; and by the end of the day, I have a clean house I can really enjoy.

I also do laundry all day long and fold at night. This morning I actually put all the laundry away, it's such a good feeling. I actually enjoy folding laundry, its a feeling of accomplishment. I love to see how big the pile can get (not on purpose), but if I don't do laundry for a week it can be a pretty big pile. I like to have it all done, and piled up before I do any folding, that way I can just get it all done at once and not have to stop and start. If I do it through out the week, I won't get it all put away, and then I have towels and clothes all mixed up, or baskets with every body's clothes all mixed up. It's best to have a basket for each room, so I can just take the basket to the room and get it done.

So, today all I have to do is try to maintain the house...and I will keep doing that until the day gets thrown off and I lose control off the house...if I get too many things going and a mess happens and I don't have time to get it cleaned up thoroughly. Then I get kind of overwhelmed and inside I say, screw it! Then I count the days until Julia and Rosa come back and get me caught up again!!

On the weekends we have a tradition, pancake breakfast. Sunday is pancakes, and when Cesar is home we do Mickey pancakes (he is the chef on Sunday), and he does little Mickey ears on the pancakes. I do the batter, and prep, he does the cooking and clean up. We also bought special plates from our last trip to Disney world for this specific tradition. So, today was pancakes, and I do soaked spelt flour pancakes and I have to start that the night before. The benefits are that it makes the grains easier to digest, and you get more out of the nutrient content that is not accessible otherwise. Here is the recipe (from "Nourishing Traditions"): Dutch Baby pancakes

• 1 cup spelt, or whole wheat flour
• 1 cup buttermilk, kefir or yogurt
• combine these 12-24 hours before and let them sit in a warm place (I usually leave in the oven with the light on...just make sure it doesn't get too hot, sometimes I leave the door cracked) in the morning...
• add 4 beaten eggs
• 4 T melted butter
• 1 t. vanilla
• 1/2 t sea salt
• 1 cup filtered water

this is enough for 4-6 people (about 10 med. size or so I also add walnuts and blueberries...and a little maple syrup on the side.

Saturday mornings I let the kids eat cereal. I try to get the one with the least sugar and the most fiber for the carb count. I don't like to give them cereal as it is processed, hard to digest, has synthetic vitamins added, and sugar added. But, I know how much they enjoy it, and it has become something that they look forward to. They eat well most of the time, so I look at it as a treat and not a big deal. I love cereal, so I really love this tradition as well. The downside, is that the kids are usually hungry shortly after, so I have to make a hearty lunch.

Although there really is no difference in my weekdays, and weekends I try to distinguish it with little traditions that the kids can look forward to. I am a serious person by nature, but I try really hard not to make life so serious (mostly thanks to my goofy husband - not that you could tell). It's easy to get carried away with rules, and convictions...but life is too short. I try to adhere to the routine, but make exceptions on the weekend. I know that when the kids are grown they are going to look back and appreciate the traditions that we have...cereal Saturdays, movie nights with pizza and popcorn, pancake breakfast on Sundays. They will most likely pass the traditions on to their own families. Okay, I will stop for now....

A Day in my life part 2

This could go on and on, the days are never the same so this is a general overview of the things that must be done every day. There are definitely those days that don't go as I thought they would and it usually takes very little to throw the day off course. It could be as simple as a package arriving and getting on a tangent, or like yesterday, looking around at the babies room and realizing I need to clean up the changing table contents...it can get me on a sidetrack that I can't stop. So, yesterday a simple re-organization because I needed to condense the amount of product bottles (too many half full and almost empty), turned into a complete spring cleaning.

So, continuing on, I left off at lunch...

Lunch can be, hot dogs and fruit (from the farm-all natural/nitrate free), grilled cheese, organic cheese filled ravioli with Amy's Organic Tomato soup, egg salad, chicken salad, lunch meat (nitrate-free, no growth hormones or antibiotics), or leftovers. The babies may have some finger foods like lunch meat, or cheese and fruit, or avocado. Then, after lunch, and depending on the babies nap schedule these days, it's quiet time and nap time. If the babies wake up to close to lunch they go to the living room, which is closed off and has their toys, the boys go to their room for imagination playing. Only quiet toys, or books...no loud clanging blocks, or even trucks. If the babies aren't ready for a nap, then Mikayla gets to get out of quiet time and plays with the babies while I get some business done. This usually consists of phone calls, emails, orders, projects, etc. Usually by 2pm they are ready for a nap. I take them up for a diaper change and down for a nap. Now is more home school with Mikayla, usually history, science, reading, geography, or grammar is fit into this slot. We don't do it all every day, and i am still trying to get to the day when we get through all I had planned to do. I am starting to realize that home school is challenging in more ways than I thought. The obvious challenge is fitting it into an already packed day, but on top of that is making it a priority because there are so many interruptions.

After quiet time, is snack time...usually a fruit, but every now and then it is a "treat" snack like graham crackers and milk or animal crackers and milk...but the milk has to be there to give it some substance.

Now, it's usually about 3:30pm, and the rest of the day is usually filled with miscellaneous things. It varies from day to day. It could be a farm order pick up day(milk, cheese, meats), or a run to the post office, or grocery shopping(fruits and vegetables, misc.)...but most of the time I do house work, or sit down with the babies on the floor, a quick trip out to the garden to see how things are growing (right now I have tomatoes, so I harvest the ripe ones). The older kids usually go out to the trampoline. This part of the day seems to fly by, and soon it's time to cook dinner. I try to have in my head that 4:30pm is the "drop dead time" for starting dinner. No matter what I am doing, it must be done or I have to stop at this time or it will cause dinner to be late. If it's something quick, like fajitas I can start at 5pm, my goal is 5:30/5:45 for dinner. Friday has become our pizza night and movie night... so that's easy to get started in the bread maker (I do a quick rise pizza). Ideally, in the next year I hope to transition over to a soaked flour dough, which is much easier to digest. But for now, in lieu of ordering a pizza, I do a white dough.

Dinner is usually planned, if I am good, but lately it's been pretty spontaneous. It really depends on how the day has gone, and if I have the time. I have most of the babies' food in the freezer, so I just take it out and plop it in a pan and warm it up. I have frozen puree vegetable "cookies" that I pre-made. I usually do a meat and 2 vegetables, plus butter, coconut oil, and fish oil.

I try to eat before I bring the babies over to their seats, but of course if they get fussy I bring them over and give them a celery or carrot stick to gnaw on. They, luckily, are satisfied with that most of the time. I have really tried to not give them cereal or crackers, and I am trying to hold off until 2 yrs on the bread, as that is hard to digest up to that age. If I am lucky, I get to eat a little before I sit down and feed them their food. (And I have learned to have it ready to go in the mouth before I get close to them...if they see the bowl and I have to stir it, they are not happy!)

When the older kids are done eating, I send them upstairs to get teeth brushed, bath/shower (if it's bath night), wash hands and face, and pajamas. Then I let them watch t.v. until I get the babies to bed. But first I have to clean the kitchen, as I really dislike to come downstairs from the bedtime routine and have a dirty kitchen. So, the babies are usually content to watch and gnaw (on their sticks of choice) as I get that done. The rule is to never go to bed with a dirty kitchen, even if I end up doing it at midnight some days.

I still carry both babies up and down the stairs (the lazy always works double!). They are the least bathed of all my babies, I must admit, but they do get an average of 2 baths a week. I try to keep their hands washed, so that is a plus! I get them changed into pajamas, and we read "Brown Bear" by Eric Carle, which is a favorite of all my kids at this age. Then we nurse ,snuggle I kiss them (and try to get a kiss, which is rare) and put them to bed. They have a pappy (pacifier) in the mouth, in the hand and a tummy pat.

Then it's off to get the older kids to sleep. Stories, snuggles and then it's lights out...and hopefully they will stay in bed. Usually there are a few frustrations of getting them back to bed, needing water, an extra kiss, etc. But usually by 8:00pm they are usually settled down.

Then comes my favorite time of day...free time...blogging, email, t.v., quilting, sewing, reading, planning, and all those fun things. The evenings are my return to sanity from the craziness of the day. And each night as I enjoy the peace and clear my head, I reflect on the days events, and hope that I can have more patience, understanding and appreciation for each of my kids. If they could only know how much I love them, and how much I try to be the best, they won't truly know until they themselves have kids.

And tomorrow is a new day, to try again to accomplish the things that didn't get done today, and to be a better mom, wife and friend and all those hats we women have to wear. I wouldn't trade my life for anything else, or any other path from the many choices I had...because being the mommy is priceless.

The Key is Happiness

I want to take a side note today, and really put out some positive energy...I find myself throughout the day thinking about the things that need to be done, and how to make the day more efficient. There was a time when most of my day was filled with the struggles that I felt and how difficult life can be and how I can't wait until....whatever it may be. Today, as I was sorting through the bins of clothes of different sizes I had for all the kids, I found myself feeling very happy and satisfied. I was upstairs in the babies' room with the windows open and a cool breeze coming through, the babies were in one crib that I moved to the window so they could look down below at their brothers and sister jumping on the trampoline. The kids were laughing and having fun, and the babies were squealing with excitement from what they saw. There is only one thing missing in my world right now, and that is my husband who is away for another 2 1/2 months. I put on the radio and I listened to music being dedicated to loved ones that were lost in 9/11 as we approach that sad day. My emotions were being pulled so many different ways, but in the end all I felt was happiness. There are so many things that I could let get in my way, I could make a list a mile long of the daily struggles and frustrations of being a single mother of 5 very young children with very little outside help...but I can't think about that. I have too many people depending on me. Each day is filled with essential events that will one day lead to their function in society. I can either do them right or I can do them wrong, it all depends on me. So, my theme for today is "The Key is Happiness". Happiness is not something you wait to come to you, not something that you hope you will find Happiness is something you must focus your energy to create, to feel, to want. You must find it within yourself, and fuel it with positive energy, and positive attitude. Your success will only come once you achieve this. If you want to be a magnet for success you must find your happiness, if you want to feel good no matter where you are or what your situation is, you must find your happiness. It doesn't have to exist in every moment, but it can exist in most moments.

A Day in My Life Part 1

My day starts with a cry in the baby monitor. There is usually one or two kids in the bed, so I just never know when I wake up how the day will start. I look over at the clock to see if it is time for the babies to nurse. If it's not 7am I usually don't get up unless they are really crying. They are such good babies, that they will play around in their bed until I get there. With two of them, they keep each other company. Although their cribs are on opposite sides of the room, they can still see each other. If it's 7am, I get out of bed, hoping it's just one of them so I can bring them to bed and nurse while I still close my eyes...if I go in the room and there are two faces smiling at me, I sit and nurse them both. I absolutely love to nurse them both, I feel like they have really bonded from that. Abigail usually pats Madison on the head as she nurses, and Madison tries to poke Abigail in the face...so I have to keep batting their arms from each other. Once they are done, I put them down on the floor and they play while I change diapers and clothes. By then the oldest, Mikayla who is 7 going on 17, usually comes in to help and ask her 5 million questions that I am just not ready to answer at 7:30am. She loves to help, and loves her sisters. Once they are dressed, she keeps them busy while I go get myself dressed and get the boys on their routine of clean-up and getting dressed. The boys share a room, and they have finally gotten to the point where they just quietly wake up and play together until we are ready to go downstairs. They are 5 and 3, but in February they will have a birthday. They don't dare go downstairs, because I don't turn off the alarm until I get ready to go downstairs. That lesson was learned the hard way with a few mornings of waking up to that!! They don't go now without checking to see if that is on or off! So, next is breakfast, usually something with eggs. It is hard to please all the kids, so they don't get a choice, but I try my best. The most liked is scrambled eggs with sausage and cheese. If I don't have the energy to do their green/apple juice they will get a piece of toast. But if I do the juice (has blue-green algae, vitamin C, azomite clay powder and fish oil with a little apple juice), then they get some fruit or a small piece of toast. I really try to balance out their breakfast to keep their blood sugar stable throughout the day. More on this in another post. I try to eat a little while it's hot, and then I feed the babies...just started feeding them scrambled eggs this past week, as egg whites are an allergen. Before that it was just the egg yolk, with an avocado, banana, grated raw (frozen for more than 14 days) liver, cottage cheese (made with raw milk), and the same powder in the green juice. They eat amazingly right now, and I have to take advantage of that. You won't believe some of the things I get in them...beef heart, chicken liver, broccoli...just to name a few...there is very little that they won't eat right now. Next, I clean up, get the babies upstairs and a diaper change, and back to bed. Right now they are going through a no sleep phase, and I am trying to adjust their schedule. I just hope they aren't trying to go to one nap a day...but it seems to be leaning that way. I usually do some upstairs clean-up, make beds, pick up, open curtains. Then it's back downstairs to start home schooling for the older three. Since they are in the office, I get them started and check email simultaneously. Check to see what orders need to go out and get other business started. I try to keep the older three busy doing writing, phonics, and math first thing in the morning. Mikayla(7) is the main focus, and Nathan (5) gets the benefit of what she is learning plus his own. I work with him on his writing and phonics while Mikayla is doing her writing. Once I get the boys done with their assignments I send them to the playroom and work with Mikayla one on one for an hour or so. I give her work to do on her own so I can take care of the babies once they wake up. They nurse again when they wake up, mostly for comfort, and to transition from their nap. Next, it's lunch time. I try to have a menu done for the week so that I don't have to wonder what in the world to do for meals. I have standard options for breakfast and lunch, so that makes it simple. To keep this from being to long I decided to do this in parts, so more to come in part 2.

My first day at a blog

I have been wanting to set up a blog, I find my life so interesting, I feel I must write about it! :) Seriously, mostly because I live a very full life, with so many experiences I really want to share what I have learned. I am only 30, but I have lived what feels like twice that in just the last 10 years. A little about me: I am the wife of the most amazing man, on the earth as far as I can tell. He is a proud Marine. He is currently serving in the country of Columbia, South America. I am a mom of five...starting with a 7 year old girl, a 5 year old boy, a 3 year old boy and 11 month old identical twin girls. They keep my very busy, as I have decided to home school. I also am very passionate about nutrition and I work very hard to feed my family very healthy food, which takes up a large part of my day. I run a business making natural skin care products, another passion of mine that goes hand in hand with nutrition. I do natural cleaning in my house, try very hard to stay away from plastics (in toys, kitchen, etc.)...I am excited because today I get my order of reusable produce bags from reusablebags.com...I cloth diaper 90% of the time (only using seventh generation at night and when we go out). I make my baby food, fresh and packed with nutrition. I can't wait to share all the good things I give to them. My plans for this blog is to be part daily life, part nutrition, part child rearing. I will share my successes, my struggles, my experiences, and I also look forward to hearing back from those who read through. Until next time...